Full Of Grace
by Fawlke
Summary: After The Hobbit – The Battle of the Five Armies, can a father and son's bond ever be what it once was. Based on the scene after the battle.


**AN: **I was watching the Hobbit films yet again and decided Thranduil is so cold that there must be a reason as every other elf in middle earth seems to have a small amount of humanity about them. That and I couldn't stand how unfeeling he was to Legolas who is his only son, so I decided to write my own missing scene/backstory. I do not speak Elvish in any way.

I was listening to the song Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan when I wrote this, it seemed to fit.

Thanwen is a character of my own creation, her name means honesty.

Malloriel – Legolas' mother's name is never mentioned so I gave her one, this is taken from Council of Elrond name site: Derived from the Latin LAURA "One who wears laurel leaves". (mallorn 'gold tree', ri 'garland, wreath, crown'. I thought it sounded like a Queens's name.

**Summary: **After The Hobbit – The Battle of the Five Armies, can a father and son's bond ever be what it once was. Based on the scene after the battle.

_###_

_The winter here's cold, and bitter_

_It's chilled us to the bone_

_We haven't seen the sun for weeks_

_Too long too far from home_

_I feel just like I'm sinking_

_And I claw for solid ground_

_I'm pulled down by the undertow_

_I never thought I could feel so low_

_Oh darkness I feel like letting go_

_###_

Thranduil looked over the fallen bodies, a slight weight in his heart as he looked over the dead, hoping he would not see a flash of gold amongst the fallen. The sound of light steps made him look up as his son entered, the King briefly looked him over but Legolas was a master at hiding anything he thought to be a weakness.

Father and son both stared at each other unsure of what to say, so much had happened between them. Legolas set himself "I cannot go back"

Thranduil understood but still wondered as his son walked away "Where will you go?"

The younger elf faltered slightly as if he had only just given thought to this "I do not know."

"Go north, find the Dúnedain. There is a young ranger amongst them, you should meet him."

Legolas turned back with a silent question on his face as his father continued "His father Arathorn was a good man, his son might grow to be a great one."

The Prince nodded, used to his father's riddles "What is his name?"

"He is known in the wild as Strider, his true name you must discover for yourself."

The young elf sighed knowing this was all he would get from his father and turned to walk away but Thranduil's voice stopped him "Legolas, your mother loved you, more than anyone, more than life"

Legolas froze, his father never talked about his mother, it was a festering wound that both of them shared. He quickly hid his shock under his usual blank mask but he could not quite hide the emotion from his eyes as he turned, placing his hand on his heart and out in a traditional farewell.

###

Legolas strapped a small pack to his horse from the supplies that had been brought for the armies, he did not need much, the forest would provide what could not be carried with him.

He was just fastening the final strap when he sensed someone standing behind him, a soft voice speaking to him "And where would you be going my Prince?"

The young elf turned to the one standing behind him "Thanwen, it gladdens my heart to know you are well"

Thanwen stood staring at him with such a look of compassion in her deep blue eyes that it nearly broke him. Her dark blonde hair was swept back from her face in a long braid, tendrils escaping from the battle that had just been fought. She still had grime on her armour plating and smudges on her face, he was glad to see that none of the blood staining her attire appeared to be her own.

"I am glad you are uninjured as well but that does not answer my question" she placed her hand on the horse's neck to steady it.

He looked down unable to face her "I cannot stay here"

Her eyes gazed sadly at him "Do you love Tauriel?"

He swallowed through the thickness in his throat "I don't know…I…I think I could have"

She brushed the side of his face with her hand "Oh my little leaf, such a burden I feel in you. Do not let you father's grief taint your heart, already I can feel the same icy defences being built"

He looked sharply up "What do you mean?"

"You are becoming like him, adept at hiding your feelings" her fingers dropped to rest over his heart "Do not let all of the joy be taken from you?"

He slid his fingers up to take her hand "What do you want from me?"

She gave him a sad smile, her eyes beginning to glisten with unshed tears "I wish to see the elfling who used to dance through the woods with joy at the beauty around him. Who ran to find me on the archery fields when he was given his first bow and who was so proud when he could finally strike the centre of the target every time"

He gave a small huff that was almost a laugh "That was a very long time ago, the world has changed much since then"

She willed him to understand "Yes but there is still hope, and as long as you believe in that then nothing can truly be lost"

He turned to mount his horse unsure why he spoke but needing to "My father said my mother loved me…more than life…if that is true then…why did she leave?"

He seemed so lost as he looked at her for an answer "Oh Penneth, she loved you and your father more than anything. I know she fought to stay, to be with you always but her wounds were too grievous"

"Then it was my fault"

She forced him to look at her by gently catching his jaw "NO…no, don't ever think that, she gave everything to protect you. What happened that day was _not_ your fault"

He spoke so quietly that it was only thanks to her elvish hearing that she heard him "My father thinks so"

She pulled him into a hug "No, he doesn't, he just does not know how to deal with his grief and so has locked his emotions away"

He shook his head "If I had not gone by myself into the forest she would not have followed"

Thanwen spoke gently "You were young, you were not to know that the spiders and orcs had encroached that far into our realm. If it is anyone's fault it is mine"

He looked up at her in shock "I did not think to send a patrol before you were due to go out, if I had the vile creatures would have been found and you and your mother would have been safe"

He closed his eyes "But then you might have been taken"

She gave him a sad smile "Better me than to have you suffer so"

Legolas held her tight "I wish for no-ones death"

Thanwen whispered sadly in his ear "Yet that is not the way of the world" they stood together for a few moments before Legolas slowly pulled back "I must go"

Thanwen nodded in agreement then noticed the bow he held, it was one of the plain ones from the armory. "A true archer of Mirkwood should carry a bow worthy of his skill" she unstrapped the wooden bow from her own back holding it out to him.

His eyes were wide as he reverently ran his fingers over the carvings "I cannot take this"

She pushed it into his hands "It is one of the only things I have left from your mother, it has kept me safe for many years. I believe she would have wished for it to give it's protection to you now"

He took it carefully and placed it over his shoulder handing her the plain one in return "Hannon le" ((thank you)) he brushed his fingers over his heart ready to give usual the elvish farewell but she rolled her eyes hugging him tightly "Look after yourself"

He nodded then mounted his horse "Namárië" ((Farewell))

Thanwen placed her hand on her heart "Namárië" bowing her head, she shook her head as Legolas started to ride slowly from the camp, both father and son were as bad as each other.

###

_So it's better this way, I said_

_Having seen this place before_

_Where everything we say and do_

_hurts us all the more_

_It's just that we stayed, too long_

_in the same old sickly skin_

_I'm pulled down by the undertow_

_I never thought I could feel so low_

_Oh darkness I feel like letting go_

_###_

Thranduil stood in his tent, felling empty as he looked over the plush furnishings.

"I hope you are proud of yourself" he closed his eyes at the angry voice "Not now Thanwen"

"You have finally managed to do what you have been threatening to do for the last thousand years" the king turned with tired eyes to stare at her "I do not have time for this"

She folded her arms "You never do. Legolas is leaving, Valar knows when he will return, does this not bother you?"

The king clenched his jaw "You could not understand"

She stepped in close "I understand more than you realise, you are a fool" his eyes flashed angrily but she pressed on regardless "You are not the only one to lose a loved one, you have locked away your feelings so deeply that you do not recognise the hurt you cause others" her eyes were glistening as she finished.

Thranduil spoke softly but it was in a commanding tone "If you were anyone else I would have you thrown in the dungeons for speaking to me thus"

She actually laughed though it was not a happy sound "Oh please do not let that stop you, it is about time someone tried to make you see reason" he took an angry step forward but she did not back down "Legolas believes you blame him for Malloriel's death" Thranduil stopped as a pain flashed over his heart, the Queen's name was never spoken in his presence, he actually couldn't remember the last time he had heard it. "That is folly"

She looked sadly at him "And yet he believes it to be so, what else is he to think when you became so cold to him after it happened" The king looked down flashes of memory finally registering in his mind "I never blamed him"

"But you never told him that, you would barely look at him after. The times he cried himself to sleep in my arms, when it should have been you providing comfort to him" she watched as Thranduil blinked a few times thinking over her words, she stepped forward placing her hand on his heart causing him to shudder. No-one had touched him in kindness in centuries, she smiled speaking softly "It is not too late" The king stared into her eyes then nodded bursting from his tent much to the shock of his guards and ran as fast as he could towards the outskirts of the camp.

Legolas rode slowly from the camp, his heart heavy. He felt so lost, all his emotions bubbling under the surface threatening to break free. He turned back at the sound of commotion behind him and was shocked to see his father standing slightly out of breath behind him.

Both father and son stood staring at each other for a few seconds before Legolas tilted his head questioningly.

"I never blamed you" Thranduil seemed shocked he had spoken casting silence between them once again.

The Prince took a breath "What?"

The King looked down then stepped closer to his son "Your mother's death…you were never to blame"

Legolas shook his head in confusion "But I…"

Thranduil placed his hand on Legolas' thigh squeezing gently "You may have thought I did, but…I never blamed you. I allowed my own grief to cloud my mind"

The younger elf slid from his horse landing in front of his father, his eyes widening in hope.

Thranduil lightly brushed his son's cheek, so many years they had grown apart, he was unsure how to start mending the rift between them.

Legolas simply bowed his head forward allowing it to rest on his father's chest, "I am sorry my son" the words were whispered to him. He didn't trust himself to respond so he simply nodded feeling light fingers brush along his warrior braids.

The younger elf reigned in his emotions and raised his head stepping back, he still couldn't stay, he needed time to work through everything that had happened "I…"

Thranduil nodded sadly "I know…go now…we will talk when you return"

Legolas took a breath then mounted his horse, leaning down to clasp his hand with his father "Namárië, Ada" ((Farewell/be well father))

As their fingertips brushed Thranduil spoke softly "Namárië, Ionin" ((Farewell my son))

The King watched Legolas leave; smiling slightly to himself, he could see that his son's shoulders seemed less burdened. He felt someone step next to him her voice speaking softly as he continued to watch his son for as long as possible. "Shall I take myself to the dungeons now or would you like the pleasure of locking me in there yourself?"

Legolas had finally moved out of sight so the King turned to look at Thanwen "You were right, I am a fool"

She tilted her head a slight amount of humour entering her gaze "It is about time you admitted it"

He pursed his lips but there was no real anger as he responded "You overstep yourself"

She bowed her head "Nay my lord, I just wish for you to not lose your son as you did your wife. Our family bond has been damaged over the years but it is not yet beyond repair"

He inclined his head "Thank you Thanwen. I do not believe Malloriel would be happy with all that has happened"

"No, I do not believe she would. If she were here now she would have yelled at the two of you for being so stubborn and then at me for allowing it to continue for so long."

The King nodded thinking of his high spirited beloved "Yes she would, I would do anything to hear her voice again, even if it were in anger"

"I too long to hear my sister's voice again…mayhap when it is time, Mandos willing, he will allow us to see her again"

An understanding passed between them "We can only hope" she nodded in agreement as they watched the setting of the sun in the distance.

_###_

_If all of the strength_

_And all of the courage_

_Come and lift me from this place_

_I know I could love you much better than this_

_Full of grace_

_Full of grace_

_My love_

_###_

**AN – **In my head that made sense, Thanwen is Malloriel's older sister so that makes her sister-in-law to Thranduil and aunt to Legolas.


End file.
